For My Mother

    So yesterday I was on my hands and knees in the snow and ice cleaning up my neighbors turned over recycle bin. Everyone's recycle bin had turned over and blew trash everywhere at some point, but these neighbors were at work and I decided to pick it up for them rather than let their trash blow from here to kingdom come. While scooping up their paper and plastics I discovered a perfectly good Christmas coffee mug with the nativity scene on it. "Why on earth would someone throw out a perfectly good Christmas mug? And one with baby Jesus on it! I think I'll take it home and add it to my coffee mugs." So that is what I did. I set it to the side while I finished cleaning up the trash and then brought it home and put it in the dishwasher. It was at that moment that I realized what I'd done.
    While cleaning someone else's property I took a perfectly good object from the trash and brought it home. Did I need it? Of course not! But you can't let perfectly good things get thrown away in the trash! Especially when they have baby Jesus on them! (You'll be glad to know I left the three shot glasses in their trash heap.)
    In conclusion, there is no escaping it. I am you. I don't even try to be. It just happens. I realize it could be worse. I may have permed my hair in the past but at least I didn't brush through it to make it as big and round as possible. I do NOT wear pantyhose under my jeans, however. And if I ever do that without thinking then I'll know for certain that this transformation into my mother is totally out of my control. I hope you're happy.