Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Letting it Go

   This past weekend we enjoyed dinner with some friends and our new pastor and his family.  At one point in the conversation we were talking about incorporating popular songs into the Sunday service.  The song "Let it Go" from Disney's Frozen was mentioned.  I'm sure it was a joke (maybe), but it did make me wonder.  Today I decided to listen to it again, choosing Demi Lovato's version, as I had never heard it before.  Imagine my surprise when I heard what could very well be my testimony in the words to this very popular Disney tune.  My story of letting go of the things that were preventing me from finding true freedom in Christ.
    Now I know this may sound crazy to many people, but to make sure I wasn't reaching too far I listened to it again and again and again.  Every time it was there.  I think the easiest way for me to explain this is to break it down for you.  Below are the lyrics, as sung by Demi Lovato, and I'll insert my interpretation of how the lyrics speak to me.  (I've deleted the repeated lyrics.)


 "Let It Go"



The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,
Not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen.

(I don't know about being a queen, but I've spent years feeling isolated from the church family I was sort of, kind of a part of.  For years I really didn't feel like I belonged.)
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.
Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried.

(I secretly had a spiritual battle raging inside of me. The time came when I could no longer ignore it.)   

Don't let them in, don't let them see,
Be the good girl you always had to be.

(On the outside I tried so hard to be the good christian girl I was expected to be.  Being a preacher's kid from a "good" family comes with a lot of pressure.)
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.
(I was afraid for people to know the questions I had about spiritual matters.  I didn't want them to be misunderstood for doubt or unbelief.)
Well, now they know.
(The secret's out!  I have many different beliefs and convictions than some of my friends and family.)

Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore

(I can't hold back this new found freedom in Christ!)
Let it go, let it go
Turn my back and slam the door

(God opened a new door for me and I had to walk through and slam it behind me.  The past is in the past!)
And here I stand and here I'll stay
(I'm not going back to the way it was!)
Let it go, let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway

(This is what I tell myself since I always claimed to hate cold weather and I now live in Colorado.  Ha!)

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
(Being far away allows us to put aside our differences.  It's not important.)  
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all.
(I'm no longer afraid of the fact that I don't have the exact same beliefs and convictions as the people in my past.  I'm free from the expectations!)
Up here in the cold thin air I finally can breathe.
(Yes the air is cold and thin in Colorado, but oddly enough I feel more myself here and more at home than I did "back home.")
I know I left a life behind but I'm too relieved to grieve.
(I did leave many things I loved behind, but the pros in this new life outweigh the cons.  I can not dwell on the things I left behind.  I choose to anticipate the things God has in store!)

Standing frozen
In the life I've chosen,
You won't find me.

(I refuse to stand still and be comfortable.  I love this new life, but I'm available to go where ever God sends me.  No matter where that is.  He brought me here and it's been an amazing, life changing experience.  I'm not going to deny myself what He has in store for me by refusing to move!)
The past is all behind me
Buried in the snow.
Let it go


    I'm not trying to turn this song into something it's not.  It's great all on its own.  I was just struck by how closely it told the story of events in my own life.  It's just a glimpse of what God has done in my life during the past few years.  A taste of my testimony.  To share everything He has done for me would take way too long to write in a blog post.  But I love to share in conversation.  God seems to have given me a desire to tell people what He's doing in me.  Where He's brought me from, and where He's brought me to.  Why did I share my Disney princess song testimony interpretation with you?  Honestly, I don't know.  I guess it just spoke to me, and I love to share.
    
Take a minute to listen to Demi.  See if you can find your testimony in the lyrics.